Don’t Assume

Assuming a person thinks like you is the worst mistake we can do to our fellow human beings. No one thinks alike. It is hard to believe that we exist in a world were everyone has a different way of thinking; but we do. It is a mistake for us to go into a situation expecting another person to know where you are annoyed with them or where they are messing up in your eyes. You have to speak.

The goal would not be to wait until you cannot take something any longer and explode on them over it. That is unfair. What would be correct would be to talk it out the minute something comes up. If you are in a situation and you find something to be putting you off, just speak up about it. The other person will be able to change or alter whatever behavior they are doing to ensure you are happy around them. Or you will be able to speak about it and come to an understanding with the person.

The error is falls inside assumption. You are assuming they understand you. And, you are wrongly assuming they know what they are doing. Perhaps in some cases this is very true, or your completely mistaken. Statistically, we are very poor at judging and guessing. We get it right by chance only half the time.  That leaves a whole other 50 percent where we are wrong. This is where assumption takes over. When you believe someone is knowingly or lacking care in something, you are automatically judging them to be doing something purposely. It very well could be they are not on the same page as you. Although, their actions may lead you believe one thing, it is highly possible they are not doing that you have decided they are doing.

How you resolve any solution is speaking to the person who is causing you the grief or removing yourself from the situation all together. In the case of a co-worker or marriage, it is not always the answer to leave the situation. It would be best for you to speak to the person. To come to the understanding of where you both can meet in the middle. It is not okay for you to assume the person will figure it out. Sorry, you are not that important that a life study has been conducted on you for the person to pick up and read to be come an expert on you. You need to speak.

An example is: Oh, I have a problem in my house right now. Here’s my keys. Go figure it out.

You left the person with no instructions. You are the only person who knows what the problem sounds like or where it could be coming from. Yet, you are giving the person walking into your home no instructions or guidance. It is wrong for you to provide no instructions in the situation. Just like it is wrong for you to assume the person understands your complaints against them. You have to get out of your box and speak.

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